Perfect Blue - “Excuse me… who are you?”

What can I write about Perfect Blue that hasn’t already been written? Like many others, I thought it was an excellent film that did a great job of presenting a fairly creepy psychological thriller for those of us achingly bored with most anime series on television nowadays. Never once did I yawn or take my eyes off the screen, and I thoroughly enjoyed watching Mima’s character transition herself from a normal singing pop sensation to a completely frantic actress paralyzed by her own irrational fears of what is real and fictional in her world. What she believes to be her “breakthrough” role ultimately results in becoming her worst nightmare in a disturbingly puzzling trip through a bizarre tale of insanity. (Note: Spoilers are included in this review.)

Mima chooses to perform everything asked of her – a rape scene for a film (very disturbing, by the way), as well as posing nude for the world to see – just to gain notoriety as a bona fide actress in a bold attempt to leave her juvenile pop-idol status behind. What makes this film so disturbing to many is the fact that she has an obsessed “fan” lurking in shadows and following her every move. He’s aware of her daily activities, even knowing her innermost thoughts, and posting them on a very public website guised as THE fan page to access updates to both her public and private life. It gets even worse as Mima’s descent toward insanity begins to mess with her mind when she “hallucinates” about her alter-ego, the virginal pop-idol sensation who makes her presence known at the worst moments when Mima’s self-worth is already being crushed by the poor choices she’s made in order to be accepted by the public as a “real” actress. She loses the ability to grasp what is real and illusion in her world, oftentimes waking up from her bed in a complete daze, unable to discern if what she’s experiencing is real or not. Was this moment imagined, or was it just a dream? Is she still asleep, or awake? She even cuts herself at one point and questions whether the blood dripping from her hands are even real. Just who is this other person pretending to be her? Or is her life really the mere illusion of her own making? With several murders, unpredictable plot twists, and a girl finding her life in a world of shambles, it’s a film that you just don’t want to miss. I can almost guarantee that you’ll be left on the edge of your seat until the very end.

I’ll be the first to admit that I like watching disturbing films. There’s a part of me that enjoys the chaos of seeing characters breaking apart both mentally and emotionally to the point of no return (Fight Club, anyone?). Possibly because I know it isn’t real. With that said, I was expecting to be horrified beyond my imagination with an exceptionally disturbing storyline since I kept hearing warning after warning from others who’ve already watched the film, some even telling me to avoid it altogether because I wouldn’t be able to handle the gruesome and shocking scenes. Well, maybe I’m just crazy enough myself not to be bothered by it because I didn’t find any scene too shocking for my desensitized eyes. I understood Mima’s lack of confidence in her own abilities and her willingness to please her fans as well as those who expected a lot from her. The desperation for acceptance became her endless drug, her addiction, that she was willing to do just about anything just to get that fix, that approval from others, that she was willing sell her soul in exchange for recognition. Had she known that her life would be in eminent danger, would she have done it? I’m not sure. But she became obsessed with becoming a believable actress, so much so that she was willing to be used, as many of us shamefully would, just to say that we’re worthy in the eyes of another person…

I suppose that if you’re the type who could handle any situation thrown at you, then you’re probably not going to want to watch this film. You’ll think that Mima is the dumbest person alive for making all the wrong mistakes and getting herself into trouble due to trusting the wrong people…but if you can’t trust those closest to you, then who CAN you really trust? I also felt that the film ended badly. I was disappointed by the cheerfulness of how things concluded. She was tormented throughout the majority of the film, only to have it all go away without ANY psychological damage? That’s just unreal. But perhaps that’s because my opinions are based on the fact that I have problems myself and still dealing with them to this very day. Nevertheless, the underlying lesson of the film is, possibly, if you don’t know yourself, how is anyone else going to know who you are? And is the price of fame, of recognition, really worth losing one’s identity?