Monthly Archive for May, 2007

Hello Everyone,

I haven’t been around much lately, and that won’t change anytime soon since I’ll be leaving for Europe in less than twelve hours. While I’m excited that I’ll be seeing new sights and sounds, I am very saddened by the fact that my stepfather is dying. He no longer has the will to live, and my mother isn’t protesting since he’ll be happier once he is freed from the imprisonment of his immobile body. I’ve never had a good relationship with him, but I truly wish it could’ve been better. I just hate the yelling, screaming, and everything else that comes with someone who suffers from depression due to his declining health condition. What saddens me most is that he probably will not be alive when I return. My vacation couldn’t come at a worse time, but what can I do? I already paid for it and it’s non-refundable. I just pray that my mom will be okay since it’s been really hard on her lately. I can see that she’s been aging rapidly ever since his health has been deteriorating, and it makes me feel even worse that I can’t do anything to comfort her. I’m not sure why I feel the need to share it here, but I guess I just want all of you to know why I haven’t been around. I have about ten posts waiting to be edited, but a lack of enthusiasm to work on it has kept me from posting anything. I am unsure of what to say to someone who no longer has the desire to live, but I hope he’ll finally be happy wherever he ends up. All I know is that I’ll miss him very much, strangely enough. I might not like everyone in the world, but I don’t want to see anyone die. Please know that I’m not sharing this to get sympathy from anyone, but I feel like many of you have been a source of happiness for me, and I just wanted to let all of you know why I’ve been pretty quiet. On another note, please be patient if your comment isn’t approved immediately. I’ll be away, so you’ll have to wait until I get back. This only applies to anyone who has never posted here before.

Hopefully everything will go smoothly and I’ll come back in one piece. Until then, stay safe and enjoy your loved ones while you still can. I’d like to share this NIN video with you since it seems to fit my mood perfectly at the moment. I’m so glad this man is still alive.